Full Rootbeer Access Virtual Servers

Cloud Hosting

Exactly the same as our VPS Hosting plans but with new higher prices!

  • Full Rootbeer Access to allow you to break your own stuff
  • Guaranteed Daily Downtime
  • 24/7 Support on Technical.chat and WebhostingTalk.com
  • Great when microwaved

Cloud Server Packages

Exactly the same as our VPS Hosting plans except with the word "Cloud" being plastered all over and higher prices. What's the difference??? We honestly have no idea.

Cloud Plan 1



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Cloud Plan 2



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Cloud Plan 3



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  • 45 TB Storage
  • 128 TB Bandwidth Options
  • 1 KB RAM
  • 7.9 CPU Cores
  • 24/7 Support on Technical.chat and WebhostingTalk.com
  • Study Hall Access
  • 4:00 PM Bed Time
  • 3*7 Hall Passes

Clearly Compensating



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  • 340 TB Storage
  • 55 MB Bandwidth Options
  • 200 ZB RAM
  • 9432 CPU Cores
  • 24/7 Support on Technical.chat and WebhostingTalk.com
  • Study Hall Access
  • 11:00 PM Bed Time with Respeller Access
  • No Homework on Weekends
  • Partial Cloud Storage
  • Un-ever-ending Profits
  • 45k Hall Passes

Why Kiddie Networks?

Kiddie Networks was founded on April First of 2018 and we already host over 50,000 websites including most of Amazon, Google, Facebook at the US Government. Our parents are so proud of us. Here are several of the reasons that you should choose Kiddie Networks for all of your hosting needs.

Fastest Servers

We use legacy servers obtained from the school dumpster. These servers are so fast that our school could not handle them. They were all marked E.O.L. which stands for Extreme Online Legacy

Hotswapable Disks

All of our servers have 2 hotswappable Floppy Disk Drives which allow us to read and write data from 2 sources at the same time. Most web hosting companies dont even have one floppy disk drive on their servers.

Universal Access

Thanks to our insustry leading server configuration, you can access your website with or without the "www". It has been proven to help your site look more grownup to have the www. in front of it

The Cheapest Service

We at Kiddie Networks offer the best plans at the best prices - often costing less than 2 days of lunch money to get started. We advise customers to bring lunch from home and pocket the money from your parents to pay us

Money Kept Safe

We keep all of the funds that are sent to us in a special safe that is kept under my big brothers bed to ensure that Benjamin on the playground does not try to take the money from us.

Bully Protection

Everyday, tens of dozens of websites are hacked by online Bullies. Kiddie Networks has worked with several hall monitors and playground supervisors to ensure insdustry leading Bully protection.

Expert Support Team

Kiddie Networks has outsourced our support to 2 helpdesks that are staffed 24/7 by skilled technicians who will do our jobs for free. Visit Technical.chat or WebhostingTalk.com for all customer support.

Customer-Parent Conferences

As you all know, Kiddie Networks is one of the largest web hosting sites on earth but if you are ever unhappy with our services, you can always request a Customer-Parent Conference to talk about us with our parents.


We have been the talk of the playground since launching in April of 2018. We have had the pleasure of hosting several high profile sites including the US Government, Amazonz, Google and over a million other sites.

If you need support, You can reach out to a skilled technician on Technical.chat or WebhostingTalk.com who will help you with all of your needs - free of charge. If you need more personalized support, please meet with the Steve from 3rd grade at recess - he normally plays under the jungle gym.

Frequenty ask questions

From personal websites to government sites we've got you covered!

What can I do with rootbeer access??

Our Shared Hosting and Reseller packages give our customers ease of access and simplicity however there are some cases where administrative access is needed, this is where Kiddie Network's patented rootbeer access comes in handy.

With rootbeer access, you are given administrative access to your virtual private server. This allows you to manage your own server, browse the contents of other servers, install software and generally hose your server at a faster rate then with one of our shared products.

What happens if I need more RAM??

Kiddie Networks has teamed up with the team behind RemoteRAM.com - The interneta leading provider of Cloud Based RAM. Thanks to our partnership, all Kiddie Network customers get half off all plans and services.

Remember to use the promo code "HappyAprilFoolsDay-PoopEmoji" to take advantage of the special partnership agreement we have with RemoteRAM

How many servers does Kiddie Networks Own?

Kiddie Networks owns hundreds of servers located out of our Miami Datacenter. We are adding hundreds of new servers every month to keep up with the explosive demand that we have seen over the past few hours.

Kiddie Networks is also in the process of expanding to several other locations including Guam, Puerto Rico, The Guano Island and the City of Altantas. We also expect to have our new Hyper Data Center built in a volcano by April Fools Day, 2019.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?


Need help? We're always here for you.

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